The following is a conversation between Steven Van Cohen, Co-Author of Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams from Isolated to All In, and Denver Frederick, the Host of The Business of Giving.
Denver: Feelings of loneliness among employees are on the rise with 72% of global workers suffering from it. This sense of isolation is contributing to a real and growing mental health problem that affects both individuals and organizations.
My next guest will discuss how to tackle this issue and how you can transform an isolated workforce into one that’s happier, more engaged, and more productive. He’s Steven Van Cohen, the co-author of Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated to All In.
Welcome to The Business of Giving, Steve.
Steven Van Cohen, co-author of Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams from Isolated to All In
Steven: Hey, my pleasure to be here.
Denver: Why don’t we start by having you define for us: loneliness.
Steven: It’s actually quite a fascinating definition because loneliness is not the absence of people; loneliness is the absence of connection. And we know this because we could be surrounded by lots of people and feel incredibly lonely, and it’s because we need more than the mere presence of others in order to feel that sense of connection.
And when you look at when people start to feel lonely, it’s because their unique connection quota, whatever that is, tends to be depleted. So as an extrovert, right, what I require for my connection quota is different than my business partner who’s a full-blooded introvert.
And loneliness is a nondiscriminator, so it doesn’t discriminate against age, race, gender, socio and economic status, what you do for work, but we all experience it differently based on those needs that we each have that are unique to ourselves.
Denver: Yeah. Yeah. And it is interesting with Zoom, we’re probably seeing more people than we’ve ever seen before, but it’s such a thin relationship. There’s nothing deep there whatsoever… that people are more lonely than ever.
Steven: Well, what you said is really interesting because we’ve learned that communication is not connection. So I’ll say that again because it’s a very important distinction– communication is not connection. So when we have communication, especially if it’s work-related, that flow of information is tactical in nature, right? We’re going through who needs to do what, and we’re thinking strategically.
All of that data processing happens in the frontal part of our brain. The feeling of connection happens in the back part of our brain. So it’s why we’re communicating more than ever, and yet we’re seeing loneliness skyrocket because people aren’t doing the connective things they should do. They’re usually keeping it relatively surface level with their communication.
So we can explore that in a bit of detail, but it’s a really important dynamic to be aware of, that just communicating, in and of itself, is not the right strategy.
Denver: Yeah, that’s an excellent point. A metaphor for that might be busyness where we’re busy all the time, but we’re really not getting any work done. But I’m too busy, you know what I mean? Just jumping around and doing this and doing that, but nothing productive is being achieved.
Steven: Yes, I would agree. Yeah, we’re busier than ever. And it’s actually one of the eight reasons for why disconnection is on the rise, right? If we have less margin for people and less margin to take time to engage with our quality connections, we’re going to obviously just not do that and feel more isolated and feel more disconnected.
Denver: Got it. Steve, is there a physiological response to loneliness?
Steven: So one of the favorite studies we came across was done in 2011. And these researchers put people through an experience of exclusion, and they wanted to figure out where in the brain does this experience of exclusion register. And they found that the part of the brain that experiences loneliness, disconnectedness, and exclusion, is the same part of the brain that registers physical pain.
So when you’re being physically hurt, and your brain is saying “danger,” this is a high threat, serious situation, that’s a part of the brain that goes off when you feel lonely and disconnected. And the researchers think it’s because of evolution. We knew a long time ago if we were to survive and fight the dangerous predators of the day, we were reliant on others, right?
We needed others to hunt, build shelter, gather food, protect the children. So the brain responds similarly when we feel disconnected and isolated because so long ago, it was important to our survival. And what happens is when we feel lonely, especially chronically, our body is going through a fight-or-flight response, and the stress hormones that get released contribute to a massive host of ailments.
Like it creates inflammation and heart disease, and it leads to anxiety and depression and suicide, and diabetes, and cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s. And there’s a huge list of things that is contributory. So yes, from a physiological standpoint, it’s a big deal, and people need to be really aware of how serious it is.
“…there’s also a very strong linkage between loneliness and mental health illness. So if you look at the rise in loneliness, you see a direct correlation to the rise in mental health disorders, and loneliness oftentimes underpins anxiety, depression, and suicide. So we’re seeing this big increase in awareness around mental health disorders, which is phenomenal, but we’re not seeing a huge increase in one of the most primary contributing factors, which is this feeling of loneliness.”
Denver: Yeah. That was like the entire Merck Manual there. It affects us in so many ways. And I don’t think we think about loneliness being connected to our overall wellness, but boy, the linkage is really tight, I gather.
Steven: Well, there’s also a very strong linkage between loneliness and mental health illness. So if you look at the rise in loneliness, you see a direct correlation to the rise in mental health disorders, and loneliness oftentimes underpins anxiety, depression, and suicide.
So we’re seeing this big increase in awareness around mental health disorders, which is phenomenal, but we’re not seeing a huge increase in one of the most primary contributing factors, which is this feeling of loneliness. And if we fix the loneliness problem, it should have a positive impact on making people feel more mentally stable.
Denver: Yeah. Before we turn our attention to loneliness and the workplace, I just have one more question about loneliness, and that is: Is there a stigma attached to it or even a perceived stigma of the person who is feeling lonely, that you kind of cover it up because you don’t want other people to know that you’re lonely?
Steven: So the book we wrote was entirely focused on loneliness in the workplace, and we wanted to title the book, “Rescuing a Lonely Workforce.” And our publisher, who was McGraw Hill said, you cannot use the word “lonely” in the title or subtitle of the book.
And we fought really hard in order to get them to change their minds, and they wouldn’t budge. And it’s because they felt people wouldn’t buy and openly read a book if the word “lonely” was on it, because it is such a charged and stigmatized word.
So yes, I would say that unfortunately when people admit that they might be feeling lonely, it’s shrouded in shame, and it’s a bit embarrassing. And there’s a stigma that, well, if you’re lonely, you’re kind of unlovable, or maybe you’re just socially awkward, or you’re kind of a loser.
Like you should be able to find friends and connections, and it’s simply not the case, but it is definitely something that people tend to hide behind. And it’s a problem with why more people don’t openly address and figure out what to do.
Denver: Yeah. I can remember when I was in college and I would get my tray. And I’d be leaving the kitchen area, and I’d be looking to the dining hall area, and looking for someone to sit with and not finding someone.
And that one minute must have been 30 minutes, it seemed like. It’s because everybody’s like, “This guy has got no friends.” I mean, you just felt the pressure and the cortisol and all those things you just talked about.
Well, I can ask you something because I don’t think McGraw Hill is listening, and that is: tell us about loneliness in the workplace.
Steven: Yeah, it’s one of those things that is just now starting to get quite a bit of media attention, which is really good because…
Denver: Great.
Steven: …lonely workers have huge performance problems. So we know from a bunch of statistics that have been gathered from Gallup and Deloitte and BetterUp and Cigna and a bunch of others, that when someone is feeling lonely at work, they’re seven times more likely to be disengaged.
And we know that disengaged employees make 66% more mistakes. That’s a big problem. We know employees are five times more likely to miss work due to stress and illness. They’re three times more likely to underperform when you compare well-connected employees who feel a strong sense of belonging to those who don’t. Those more strongly connected employees perform at a 56% increase to production. And then, lonely employees are twice as often to think about quitting.
Denver: Wow.
Steven: So if we think about performance, retention, engagement, mental health, well-being, all of it is directly associated with feelings of loneliness and connection. So definitely a big deal if we’re trying to have the right workplaces that support productive people.
Denver: Yeah. Yeah. What you just stated there doesn’t surprise me, but it’s the magnitude that you just cited that is profound. I mean, it really does have an incredible impact. Can you spot a lonely worker? If I’m a manager and I’m trying to look at my team, how would I be able to spot or identify somebody who might be lonely?
Steven: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, loneliness is a bit elusive, but there are signs. So there’s a really good quote from the photographer, Ansel Adams, and Ansel says: Photos are often looked at, they’re seldom looked into.
When you’re trying to spot signs of loneliness, or I guess any concerning feeling within somebody you know, you’ve got to look into them versus at them because oftentimes, what they’re displaying are little, teeny-tiny taos that you have to be super focused on.
So some of the big signs are what’s called lack of learning and development. So at work, if people become focused more on a fixed mindset; they’re not trying to better themselves; they’re not trying to learn and grow; they’re not taking on new challenges. They become complacent. That’s usually a sign.
What’s interesting is when someone feels lonely, they tend to retreat inward. So if you’re noticing that someone is not participating as often, or their camera is off, or they’re not showing up to events or activities, that’s probably a sign that they’re feeling disconnected. You would think if we’re lonely, we should just forge a connection, but people remove themselves even more because they’re already unhappy with the relationships.
It’s a bit risky to continue to put themselves out there. So retreating inward is a sign. Sloppy work is a sign because if you’re providing sloppy work, you probably don’t care about your team; you don’t care about your boss; you don’t care about your company. So those are a few of the big ones that you want to look out for.
If you’re noticing that, hey, I got this idea. Oh, and one more that’s interesting is, excessive work. So we don’t want to demotivate somebody who’s working hard, but oftentimes people use work as a way to distract themselves from the relationships in their life that they’re unhappy with. So if they’re working all the time, sometimes it’s because they don’t want to deal with whatever their relationships are away from work.
So those are a couple of things that leaders and coworkers can pay attention to if they’re worried someone might be feeling lonely.
Denver: Yeah. No, those are good pointers there. Particularly the one who’s… you don’t think about excessive work, but then again, you’re just too busy to connect with people. I’d love to, you know what I mean? I just don’t have the time because I’m under the gun, I have a deadline here. Are there any generational differences?
Steven: So the statistics are that the loneliest generation on the planet is Gen Z. So for those who don’t know, Gen Z is 26-year-olds and younger. And 79% of Gen-Zers say that they either always or sometimes feel lonely. So they are the highest-rated generation when it comes to loneliness.
The average from the work that we did… we’ve served over 3,000 global employees. And we learned that 72% of the global workforce feels lonely monthly; 55% say that they feel lonely weekly. And it’s a scary trend.
I did a big keynote on Friday of last week, and I had 800 college students from all over the country who participated in this event, and they’re juniors and seniors in college. And we used anonymous polling software. And I asked them: How often do you think the people that you surround yourself with on campus, your other fellow students, feel a sense of loneliness?
And it was hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, rarely, never. And 87% of that audience said that they feel like their people at school feel lonely, either daily or weekly.
Denver: Wow.
Steven: And these are students who are surrounded by other students, and this is something that they are feeling is very, very relevant. And these are all young professionals who will be flooding into the workforce here…
Denver: That’s incredible.
Steven: …in the upcoming years. And it’s a big, scary problem if we think about the future of work and what do we do if we have a whole generation of people coming in feeling this way.
Denver: Yeah. How much do you think social media has to do with it, or do you have some other ideas as to what might be causing it?
Steven: So there are a few. The biggest contributing factor is actually what’s called dependency shift. So if you think back 20 years, you needed advice or help or encouragement, you found a human to help you. Now, if you need to learn anything or if you need advice, you’re self-sufficient. You have YouTube and you have Google, and you have millions of online courses, and No Human Necessary is kind of the situation these days.
So for those who are in the Gen Z generation, they’re younger than Google, so they’ve spent their entire life figuring things out on their own. So there’s a gap in mentorship, coaching, teaching, sharing wisdom, being helpful, and that creates a big divide.
Denver: Yeah.
Steven: Technology and social media is a contributing factor because there’s a difference between high-tech and high-touch communication. We talked a little bit about those differences, and I can go more into what connection is versus communication, but when you’re using social media as your primary means of connection, they call it “social snacking.”
It’s this idea that I’m sending messages, I’m posting, I’m replying, but it’s like you’re eating snacks and it fulfills you in the moment, but it’s not the sustainable meal you need to be healthy and fully prepared for whatever is ahead. So that’s a big contributing factor.
Busyness is a contributing factor. Feeling the sense to have… at work, we call it the overly professional workplace, but it’s a sense that I can’t be myself. I have to be somebody someone else wants me to be. So social media kind of contributes to that, too. So there’s all these factors that are at play that’s contributing to this. It’s definitely not just a social media problem.
Denver: Yeah, really interesting. Yeah, I was talking to a parent the other day… about their kid, and they were saying that their kid doesn’t need to come to them to ask for anything anymore. It was like “That’s what I kind of thought was going to be my role, but they get it faster and in their minds, probably more reliably just by clicking, and it’s really strange.”
Well, let’s turn the tables a little bit and talk about belonging. And why don’t we just start with just a broad question in terms of: what are the benefits, Steve, of belonging and what does belonging mean?
Steven: All of those contributing factors that we’ve talked about : you’re seven times more likely to be disengaged, five times more likely to miss work, underperform, think about quitting. Belonging is the antidote to all of that. So if you flip the script, teams that feel a strong sense of belonging, they have way higher productivity, they have way better retention.
They’re able to have a lot more cognitive diversity with their thought. People show up and are happier and healthier. So if you want to have a high- powered, fully functioning team, I’m a believer that you cannot have that… It’s unachievable unless the team feels a strong sense of belonging and a strong sense of inclusion.
You can’t have psychological safety without belonging. You can’t open challenging ideas without belonging. You can’t have trust without belonging. And if we want teams that have any of those elements, belonging is really at the core of it. So it’s super important.
“So pro-social behavior is defined as an act of comforting, an act of empathizing, an act of giving undivided attention, an act of real listening, an act of curiosity. So I’m wanting to know more about you. It’s giving you eye contact. It’s leaning in to show that I’m focused. That’s paraphrasing to say back the things that you just said to show you that I’m on the same page. All of these types of behaviors are what makes people feel connected.”
Denver: So where do you start? If I’m trying to create a company culture to create that sense of belonging, that culture of belonging, what are some of the steps that I can take?
Steven: Yeah. One of the first things that we work with our clients on is helping clients make team members see the person behind the professional. So we say that loneliness is being seen through, belonging is being seen as. It’s when we’re on the same page. I get you, you get me. We understand each other above and beyond our title and responsibility.
So this isn’t a happy hour; this isn’t we’re doing one offsite a year and we’re going to have fun together, and all of a sudden, we have this sense of comradery and belonging. This is finding ways to have very intentional opportunities for two people to connect. So there’s these sensations that are called pro-social behaviors.
So pro-social behavior is defined as an act of comforting, an act of empathizing, an act of giving undivided attention, an act of real listening, an act of curiosity. So I’m wanting to know more about you. It’s giving you eye contact. It’s leaning in to show that I’m focused. That’s paraphrasing to say back the things that you just said to show you that I’m on the same page.
All of these types of behaviors are what makes people feel connected. So team members who do that really well and take time to actually have conversations that aren’t just work-specific, and that’s hard especially these days with how busy people are… those are the teams that find success. So one of the activities I do with my clients is every week they have what’s called a personal spotlight.
Personal spotlight is where we say, “Okay, Denver, you’re in the spotlight this week.” We get the team together, and they say, “Why do we appreciate Denver? What is he doing that is so remarkable? What are the skills he has that we admire?” And a few minutes of that make somebody feel like they are intertwined in the fabric of this team because people are sharing these really connective things with them that makes you feel a certain way.
Taking time at the beginning of a Monday morning session to do a quick icebreaker, like one of them is called the photo swap. So just sharing a picture of something that’s important to you and explaining why it’s important so I can understand your family, your interests, your hobbies, where you vacationed, just creating the sort of sparks that could create more conversations away from work.
All of those things get taken for granted as being just an eye roll, like, “Ugh, are we going to do this stuff?” But if you do it the right way, and if you’re consistent, and if it’s not cheesy, teams will resonate with it, and it has a huge impact.
Denver: Yeah. So what I hear you saying in some way is that when we think of this monumental problem of loneliness and moving from there to a belonging culture, in some senses it might be a little less work than you think. It’s not this gargantuan thing you need to lift. It is a lot or many little things that just make a big difference, like so many other things in life.
Steven: That’s it. They found that loneliness can be lessened in as little as 40 seconds. So…
Denver: Wow.
Steven: …in under 40 seconds, you can have what’s called a restorative connection, and we’ve all experienced this, right? Like one of my rules is I have determined what I call phone-free zones. So there are certain things in places that when I’m in these phone-free zones, my phone stays in my pocket.
And one of those places is when I wait in line, wherever I’m waiting at the grocery store, at a restaurant, whatever. And I make it a point to chat with somebody that I’m standing next to, at work, and in elevators. Another one of my phone free-zones. I actually make sure to say something to somebody in an elevator and just a smile, and like a genuine, like, “How are you doing? What are you doing today? Where are you from? Are you on vacation?”
And acknowledging that person, smiling at that person, showing that person that I see them and they see me, that’s enough for me to feel like, oh, okay, that felt good. So it’s doing that at work regularly with our coworkers that can spark a whole bunch of feelings of connectedness without having to do these really excessive corporate-wide initiatives.
Denver: “You know, I thought I saw you before. You were that guy online, not on his phone. Now I recognize you. Yeah.”
Steven: Yeah.
Denver: You never see anybody do that. I think a lot of it, sometimes, is that people also mask loneliness by being on their phone. It’s almost sort of a way to be able to say, “Well, I’m busy.”
So it just kind of hides the fact that I got things to do. I’ve even known people who’ve made fake phone calls to just look like that, because they just feel so awkward in not having anybody to talk to at a networking event or whatever. They just do that almost as a beard. It’s really interesting.
Another thing that you say that combats loneliness, which I was really interested in, is purpose. Tell us about that.
Steven: Yeah. They found that the quickest way to pull someone who’s feeling disconnected back into a state of connectedness, as they call it, the significance effect. And it’s this idea that when someone feels needed, desired, important, and contributory, that’s the fastest way to get them to re- engage.
And there’s a really powerful phrase that you can use to help with this. And the phrase is, “I need you.” I need you to give me advice because I really appreciate your opinion and perspective. I need you to help me because you’re so good at A, B, and C that I can’t do this by myself, or I need your support; it’s impossible to do this without you by my side.
That phrase is a direct life raft to someone to say, “Come back, come aboard.” Like we want you here, and you’re important. And one of the great things about helping someone feel less lonely is you can make them feel that way, the significance effect, without ever talking about loneliness. I don’t have to go to someone in my office and say, “You look really lonely. I think you’re unhappy. Are you not having a sense of belonging?”
Denver: Yeah, that’s…
Steven: Tell me about all your feelings.
Denver: That’s not going anywhere. Yeah.
Steven: But to make someone feel contributory and needed and necessary and impactful, yeah, all of us have the ability to do that with the people we work around. And it’s a super powerful strategy that I recommend everyone utilize.
“…by doing 10-minute, informal, weekly check-ins, either one-on-one if you’re a leader to a subordinate, or by having a team just debrief like at the end of the week how the week went, it’s really powerful because we’re staying in alignment, and we’re able to get the necessary info we need to know what do we keep doing and what do we stop doing. So cultivating clarity is one of those strategies that we highly recommend in order to make sure people aren’t lost in the woods without a map.”
Denver: I really love that. Another one that I like too in terms of praise is just going up to somebody after they’ve done something and just say, “You’re amazing.” I mean, that just goes such a long way, and they feel amazing, and it changes their day. You also talked a little bit about narrowing the focus. What focus?
Steven: Yeah. So it’s really interesting. There’s a whole bunch of components around work that make us feel extra lonely. So one of the parts of work that makes us feel lonely is when we’re lost… and we could all understand this.
Like if we don’t know who to turn to, if we don’t have a clear map, we’re not sure what to do, we’re not sure how we’re performing… all of that is like we’re alone in the woods, trying to get our way back to our car or our house. And that is an incredibly lonesome state of mind. So narrowing the focus is a whole set of strategies that we talked about in the book that allow you to minimize the opportunity for loneliness with your employees.
And one of the strategies we talk about is this idea of cultivating clarity. So if I know that if I’m wandering, if I’m lost, that’s a lonesome state. The more clear that I am on my tasks, the more clear I am on the resources that exist, the more clear I am on the support network that I have available, the more likely I’m going to be not wandering.
And one of the strategies we talk about, and it comes from Marcus Buckingham, is this idea of doing 10-minute, weekly check-ins. So Marcus found that by doing 10-minute, informal, weekly check-ins, either one-on-one if you’re a leader to a subordinate, or by having a team just debrief like at the end of the week how the week went, it’s really powerful because we’re staying in alignment, and we’re able to get the necessary info we need to know what do we keep doing and what do we stop doing.
So cultivating clarity is one of those strategies that we highly recommend in order to make sure people aren’t lost in the woods without a map.
Denver: As you say, it’s not the big, big, big things. A little gesture like that and doing it on a regular and consistent basis can make a big difference.
In addition to that, what can leaders do to get an all-in, belonging culture?
Steven: If I’m coaching a leader who is really wanting to figure this out, the first thing I would do is: I would do an audit or an assessment, or pinpoint where the gaps lie. One of the tools that we created is called the Team Connection Assessment, and it’s a 30-question questionnaire that gives leaders really specific areas why someone might be feeling disconnected on the team.
So the first thing I would do is: let’s really come to an understanding of where the gaps lie. The second thing I would do is: I would make sure that the leader is taking time to connect versus communicate, which I talked about earlier. So having those 10-minute one-on-one sessions, providing positive recognition and reinforcement, making sure the team really knows where they’re going and what they’re supposed to be doing, and just finding ways to really care about the people on the team.
Because if I’m a leader, if I’m not demonstrating the right behaviors to show that I’m investing in connection, I’m investing in belonging, I’m investing in our dynamic as human beings, and I want to establish the right level of comradery… and it’s just not going to happen organicall; leaders have to take the first step and demonstrate what’s required for the group.
So a lot of what we’ve already talked about is just a matter of: How do you prioritize this? How do you stay consistent with it? How do you do these little things that reinforce that this is something that you expect from everybody who works with you and for you? And it’s a lot of just rethinking what is most important to us at work.
And if what’s important is getting all the tasks done like robots, that’s not what’s going to create connection, right? We need to be human.
Denver: Yeah.
Steven: And never wavering off tasks? You can leave that to the robots. We need to be interruptible, and we need to find ways to connect with the people around us. And it doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it does take some vigilance and some consistency.
So that’s what I work on with my people that I coach and work with in consultant support in order to get them to reprioritize this part of work, versus staying just head down on the day-to-day nitty-gritty stuff.
“I believe busyness, out of all of the contributing factors, is the biggest, strongest correlate to why we’re seeing huge increases in loneliness. So my biggest takeaway is giving myself very specific margin and very specific activities that I defend in my calendar to take time to connect.”
Denver: Connectable is an extraordinarily well-researched and comprehensive book with lots of insights and advice and tips. Having gone through this process, which one landed with you that’s actually changed the way you behave?
Steven: So the one that landed with me the most is: there was a study that we talked about in the book. It’s a famous study from Princeton. Darley and Batson are the researchers, and they found that we are far more likely to step over the people that need our help when we’re busy. And I believe busyness, out of all of the contributing factors, is the biggest, strongest correlate to why we’re seeing huge increases in loneliness.
So my biggest takeaway is giving myself very specific margin and very specific activities that I defend in my calendar to take time to connect. So I built like a social regimen. So every Tuesday morning, that’s my time to reach out to friends and people and colleagues and clients just to catch up and make sure that I’m doing some of those pro-social activities.
Every Thursday, I take off early, and that’s my time to spend with my girls and spend time with my wife. So I’ve found ways to create these dedicated time slots for connection. And that works for me because the busier I am, the less likely I’m going to do that stuff. So that’s been helpful.
“Human connection is the most powerful force and the most important need that we have as a species. And when we decide not to harness it in the right ways, we’re letting humanity down.”
Denver: Let me close with this, Steve, and I’m going to pick up on what you just said– your girls. And I think that as we look at the profound impact that connection could have, you really have a firsthand account with the birth of your oldest daughter. Why don’t you tell us that story.
Steven: Yeah. So my daughter, when she was born… my daughter was born early and when she came out, she came out really small. And when she came out, she came out doing very poorly. So the nurses had to rush her over to an exam table, and the doctor had to intervene, and she wasn’t responding in the right way, and they were giving her air. And the doctor said, “We need to take her up to the NICU.”
And my wife and I were terrified and in a state of disbelief, and we weren’t sure if she was going to make it. And it was a very, very tough few minutes while we’re waiting on what the doctor was going to do next. And the doctor decided right before taking her up to the NICU that she was going to give quick skin-to-skin contact with mom.
And the doctor laid my daughter on my wife’s chest. As soon as my daughter hit my wife’s skin, she took a huge deep breath in.
Denver: Oh wow!
Steven: And then she took another huge deep breath in. And she was bluish purple, and she turned pink and bright, and she just like relaxed into my wife’s arms and she was totally fine. She didn’t need any medical intervention. They didn’t take her up to the NICU. She went from stressed to stabilized, and she was perfect.
And it’s like one of those moments of seeing this baby who was going to go up into the NICU to get treated. And she didn’t need treatment; she just needed to be close to the most important person on the planet.
And seeing that moment is one of those moments of like, Oh my God! Human connection is the most powerful force and the most important need that we have as a species. And when we decide not to harness it in the right ways, we’re letting humanity down. So that’s the story, and it’s one that will stick with me for a lifetime.
Denver: That’s actually going to stick with me, too, and I just heard it. I didn’t live it, but it really does show the work that you’re doing and why you’re doing it. It really says it all.
One last time, just give us where people… you have such great tools and those assessment tools… where can listeners look in to check that stuff out?
Steven: Yeah, so the easiest way is to go to lesslonely.com, or listeners can find me on LinkedIn really easily under Steven Van Cohen. So feel free to reach out and check out that site. There are a bunch of free resources and a bunch of guides and a whole bunch of videos and things that might be helpful. So if anybody wants more info, don’t be a stranger.
Denver: Fantastic. The title of the book again is Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated to All In. Well-researched, nicely organized, and very actionable. So by all means, pick up a copy.
Thanks, Steve, for being here today. It was a real delight to have you on the show.
Steven: It was my pleasure. Thank you.
Denver Frederick, Host of The Business of Giving serves as a Trusted Advisor and Executive Coach to Nonprofit Leaders. His Book, The Business of Giving: New Best Practices for Nonprofit and Philanthropic Leaders in an Uncertain World, is available now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.